Where the Heart Is...

I'm reminded of a day in early March.

I was still making the commute from D.C. to Baltimore and I was soooo tired. Ya know how sometimes you get so tired your just mind just hits auto-pilot for the routine stuff (like driving home)? Well I was totally zoned out just thinking to myself, "I just want to be home. I just want to be home. I just..."

I snapped out of my fugue just as I had turned down the street to the house I once shared with The Un-Ex. Funny. Somewhere inside me considered that placeand that person home.

After the "un-breakup" it was as if the parts of me that were hurting had disconnected in order for me to function (spiritually I was in pretty bad shape). During that drive, they came back. Anger, hurt, betrayal, sadness, love, disappointment. It was the first time I cried since I had left. What made me angriest was recognizing that somewhere in me, I still loved her. After 20 min of a rollercoaster of emotions, (and a cigarette) I was able to calm myself.

"Fuck it!" I said to myself. "Doesn't matter what I feel. It's over." And then and I there I committed to moving on,rebuilding, and making myself so busy I had no time to think about any of it.

I think I've been doing a good job of it. But it's not quite right. I still have the occasional moment.


And so dear reader, I know you're thinking, "D.I, what is all of this emotional drivel about? Where are my pot shot's about Craig's weekend Ho-Downs? Commentary on iPod's new wardrobe? Musings on having George as my new manager (can you believe it?), and where's The Soup???"



Well, darlings on a dark and stormy night in fair Brookland...





The Un-Ex called me...